Excerpt from the July 10, 2022 Nativity of Mary Bulletin- Fr. Nathan LaLiberte
Audiobooks
Over the summer months I have been listening to a variety of audiobooks while out on walks or during long drives. One book that I had wanted to read for years but couldn’t justify taking the time to read was “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. This book, which had sold over five million copies in 31 languages by the time of Dale Carnegie’s death in 1955, has given powerful instruction to people who have desired to “up their game” when it comes to social interactions.
The reason that I had wanted to read this book for so long was because of the numerous people who had said, “Father this book has changed my life.” As I listened to Dale Carnegie’s advice, I could easily see how his book could strongly influence someone’s life.
Just look at a couple of the titles in the table of contents of his book:
1). “If you want to gather honey, don’t kick over the beehive”
2). “An easy way to become a good conversationalist”
3). “A simply way to make a good first impression”
4). “You can’t win an argument”
5). “How to criticize and not be hated for it”
As I am sure you can see these chapters are life skills that anyone, in any profession or state of life, could benefit from. It was this point that really interested me. Dale Carnegie’s wisdom, although aimed at secular advancement in corporations, actually has direct applications to the work of evangelization in the Church.
Often I hear people say that the greatest obstacle to the Gospel is the people who are representing it! This can happen when someone who claims to be “devout” in their faith interacts with others in a sort of brow beating way. Whereas the work of evangelization requires one to be a good listener, to be willing to have a meaningful conversation with another, to not unnecessarily agitate or offend a stranger, and lastly, to realize that having a discussion on the faith is not about ‘winning’ but rather invitation.
I was genuinely stunned that my take away from Carnegie’s book was practical steps to becoming a better evangelizer. One point in particular that was revolutionary for me was surrounding the concept of excitement. Carnegie says that if you want someone to make a certain decision, or to change their mind to a different point, the most powerful tool to use is excitement. When we are excited about something others want to understand what we find so good about it.
The example that he gives is of a small child, around the age of beginning kindergarten, who was opposed to going to school and wanted to stay home. Her parents and siblings knew that they could not convince her otherwise, so instead they got out paint, some large pieces of paper and went to town finger painting on the kitchen table. The young girl was fascinated and wanted to join. However, the parents and siblings said, that you had to be in kindergarten to paint. The family went back to painting with great joy and excitement. The next morning, the little girl had dug out her backpack and was waiting by the front door when her parents got up. She DEMANDED to go to kindergarten ASAP.
What this story was meant to show is that often the most successful influencer for people is the excitement another has towards something. Why would anyone want to become a Christian if we ourselves were not excited about it? However, if we show a genuine excitement for the things of our faith it becomes a powerful witness that can often bring people to encounter the Lord.
All of this being said, I found in this very secular author, some real nuggets of wisdom if you are looking for something to listen to/ read over the summer months.